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Something in the blood ... a new life

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Post  BenevolentDevil Fri Oct 12, 2018 12:30 pm


I woke up, couldn't sleep much. So excited about the pups coming! My heart leaps for joy , just knowing.
Mia seems in full swing. A bit of changes for sure. Moody, morning sickness, pups kicking already. She's not showing much quite yet, but will not be long.

She talked to a bit, and tried instructing on cooking. I still managed to completely botch it , regardless.

She said something, about ... me not participating in the first mating of Hel and she.
First I voiced my concerns, I really don't ... feel he's into me. She says it's just his way, but ... I am still leaning that ,my inclusion, is more based that he'd give her ,whatever she desired.
I don't blame him, I'd give her anything she desired as well.

Secondly , and far more important.
I wanted the coupling to be special for them. I didn't want to be first, I didn't want to be with both for the first time.
I can't ever, ever .. .have that special first time. I was completely robbed of such unwillingly.
So, it was important to me ... , the people I love and hold dear to me most , get that special thing. I don't feel left out, not at all. I'm not sure, my words over it, really hit home to her over that.

I'm fine.
I'm happy, and excited, and there's so much to do now ... , but I'm not worried about what happened. Not at all. quite the opposite, I'm very pleased , how things went.

BenevolentDevil
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Post  BenevolentDevil Fri Oct 12, 2018 6:18 pm

I don't know ... this is far more difficult than I thought it'd be.

So many things happening so fast, and with my Winter Months, come and Gone, the excitement over the pups , well, everything else too, it's been a whirlwind of emotional high and lows.

Today wasn't too bad of a day, I tried to stay busy attending to Mia, clean the house, do what chores I can do. It's when I'm done, and they are both up and in the house, ... I feel strained a bit now.  

I don't know what to do.  I feel like , I can't be myself around him anymore.  I have a hard time, knowing what to say even.  He's easy to talk to, it's just ... now I feel incredibly uncertain.  
I just know, he doesn't like my normal overly nasty minded self,  I used to think it was cute, but looking back, I think I see what I didn't back then.  I don't really think, I made him sexually uncomfortable, he just loves Mia ... and doesn't want anyone else is all.  
again, who could fault him for that? I can't.  I've been with her, I love her. I can understand ... once you've gotten that elvish heart, you wouldn't do anything to let it go.  

So, I tried all day ... to watch what I said.  Be, as non sexual as I possibly could be.   It doesn't feel right, but I don't know what else to do.
It also means, not being as free with my loving on Sugar too.

Bless her, she's not felt great, been eating a lot ... needing to relax.  I just wanted to slide over, pamper her, spoil her ... do what we did this morning.
I felt his eyes on me, every time I drew near her, and I held back ... not knowing what to do.  

I know he was trying to play a bit, be friendly.  I kind of got a bit aggravated, I think.  
I'm not trying to impress anyone else anymore... , but I will not be ugly , or disheveled in appearance still.  
I don't mean to take it out on him, ... once again, I find my emotions taking over my head.  My heart is broken, and I can't help all of it.  I'm not trying to punish him, for what he didn't understand to begin with.  
but I love him, and it does hurt ... even if I try to pretend it doesn't, ...  I got attached, and got hurt.  I can't help the pain, it will be there ... for a long time, maybe forever.  Not his fault, mine entirely ... but it still hurts.

I don't know what to do or say.  
I've never had to be a good girl before, even when people wanted me too, I did as my nature directed anyways.   I just feel, displaced and lost.  I don't know HOW to do this , but just to stay busy.

Mai is a comfort, and I love her, I will not leave her.  
Not unless he tells me to go that is.  
He's the Alpha, he can do that.  No matter how Mai might protest, or what I said ... I would have to do as he wished.  It's how things are done in a Pack, it doesn't work any other way.

I hadn't dug out my cards to see.  I don't want to see it coming I guess.

That stash of puffweed, is starting to seem mighty tempting now, and ... and might not hurt .. to order some whiskey crates, next I'm in Crossroads Inn either.
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Post  BenevolentDevil Sat Oct 13, 2018 9:10 pm

*Bav rises up from the bed, having slept just a bit there... she glanced at Hel in the pale light trickling in through the windows, smiled.  He was on his belly, how he passed out ... she had greatly enjoyed exhausting him.  It was better the second time she thought, didn't rush , wasn't in a hurry.  
 A bit shakily, she then turned and wobble walked back to a snoozing Mia, curled up right in Bav's usual spot by the fireplace.  
The Witch smiled, gazing upon the sleeping beauty , she then slid behind the pregnant Mia, sitting ... found her scribble book in the dim light of the shimmering coals.  

She then, charged her hand with energy, concentrating she made a pale glow float over her shoulder.  Not a bright light spell, but similar .. she called them "spook lights" , but that probably wasn't the technical term of them.  
Setting her ever inking quill to the parchments with in*


Wow.  
Oh boy, was I ... completely wrong about Hel.  
I don't think ... he realized his way, his game ... to drive me into more desire , kinda of backfired until today.  He confronted me, and I was open and honest about things.  I wasn't going to at first, ... , still pretending I wasn't bothered.
I think, he seen through my false front though.  

Even though, I did not wish to leave Mia, he beckoned me to go somewhere with him.  She was resting, and I had hoped it was a short trip, but .. his mysterious destination wasn't so close by.  This made me nervous, and I had no idea what to expect.
I followed, more at the time because he is Alpha, and it was a request.  Well, maybe I was curious after our chat too.

The farther away we got, even crossing into ... some other world, I became nervous this was going to end very badly. I thought, thats where he was going to tell me , to leave.  He also, about made me hyperventilate , had me spooked of the place we had gone to as well, telling me it was dangerous even for Mia and He.  

Come to find out, he took me safe passes there.  I am guessing it held some ... significance to his past.  

We talked farther about my ... issues.

I found out ... in a very pleasant way, I had mis-interpreted his manners, and his looks of late, and his ... desires.  
He's just not as open , to .. being open about it, I am guessing now.    

Just a quickie ... but he , took me. Right up against an old gigantic tree ... over fast, but ... oh it was good!

I reminded him, we left a very pregnant Mia back in our world, and we should head back. Not just that, he find it comfortable there, but the air feels strange to me. Like ... I don't belong there. It was difficult to suppress this , and endure it as long as I did.

I came back, to find she had ... woken, gotten sick ... morning sicknesses I am guessing.  I cleaned up , what she couldn't ... I don't mind. I should have been there really in all honesty.   Funny how Hel doesn't smell the things I do, or maybe it's a male thing, not to notice when there's housework to do?
She was resting again, but she had been outside, I seen her delicate foot prints in the dirt near the door.  

She woke up , and went and cleaned up, soaking in the waters.  
I wonder ... if she scryed us, or tried to ... you can't always tell if she does.  Not, that I would mind ... , not at all.  But, I wonder if her curiosity, where we were was present.   I .. kind of actually hoping she was ... watching. If she did, she did not let on though.

We had a nice evening, Hel even got close.  I was in such a good mood, I don't even mind he tasseled up my hair ... several times.  
Well, ... after bed just now, I'll be spending half a day, de-tangling my poor hair ...

Mia eventually curled up to rest, right here where she is now. I was there holding her close when she did.  
Hel wanted the bed .. I slipped away from Mia, to go with.  A reward for, making the effort to him.  Being snuggly and close to us both.
Not, just me and Mia, or He and I, but ... whole, together as we should be.  

and ... I hope he enjoyed that.  Ha, I let him be on me, I reveled in his muscular power.  I didn't allow it to stop though, I'd shift my position, momentary pauses, so he would not ... release.
Finally, I got on top ... worked my slow grind magic for as long as I could stand it.  My hunger became to much, watching him ... watching me.

Amazing!  

He likes me ...  afterall!

Now, I feel better .. I can go back to my usual dirty minded playful self, and .. from here on out I won't try to worry so much.  

And I can paw on my green eyed angel , with out feeling like I did something wrong ... I feel free, of the prison I created in my own mind now.


*Bav then closes her book, pushing it away on the floor, slides up against Mia, putting her arm gently over, to lightly rub a belly full of pups, falling asleep, smiling.*
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Post  BenevolentDevil Sun Oct 14, 2018 9:04 pm

In heat ... again.
I think I'm a tad dangerous to Hel when in this state, can't help myself, can't ... his smell pulls instinct out.
I am coping, most the time. Self gratification , whiskey ... , trying to focus on Mia.
It wouldn't be great, giving into this with him though. One set of pups at a time for our family , is about any of us want to tackle.

Lets see ...
I finally learned the spell to fix my boots. Oh what a blessing! I had tried it several times before, I simply had the wrong hammer. It doesn't work with enchanted varieties, even though they are technically the same type of hammer.

Mia. Mmmm, my dearest , and treasured. She's bored, I can tell ... swelling up, pups kicking in her. About a month to go, and she's dizzy alot, and I think maybe a tad claustrophobic?
We got to talk a bit, she didn't scry Hel and I after all. I don't know why she didn't, but she was flat out with the answer. Maybe she thought, such was an intrusion? Well, to me it is not.
I don't hide anything from them. I might not always know how to say things, or get everything out ..., but I don't really keep things from either.
I handed this book today to Mia , so she could read my passage about my mom, my past ...
I'd let Helthan and Sugar , read anything I write here. I have nothing to hide, even if some of my ... crazy thoughts, I feel silly now that I know better.

Just like ... I want Mia to scry me. I don't mind if she watches me, no matter what. It, rather comforts me actually. I want her to know me, to see me .. I wish to share every part of me with her. I know, I want to know her the same way, everything I can.

I don't like this ... separation. She has far more patience than I , even Hel has reserved patience. Must be an elven thing.
Though, she confided in me, she too doesn't like the separate nature of our ... well, sex life for one, but in other small ways as well.

I don't care if it doesn't make Hel comfortable or not , being so .. open. We do what we do, but ... while I am willing to let him ease into things , at the same time I do not wish for other important aspects to get set back, in doing so. Or even fouled up.
No, I care far too much, to let such go that way.


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Post  BenevolentDevil Sun Oct 14, 2018 10:55 pm

*Bav watched Helthan go on to rest, she turned sharing portions of her life with Mia, but the Witch's intuition was back ... she could tell, Mia was out of sorts, the pregnancy , the pack ... she seemed fine, bearing it well enough. However, Bav .. just knew. Mialee was going through so much, and while Bav seen it all as a blessing, there were portions she wish she could bear for her green eyed angel as well.

So, standing there on the bank of the stream , by the lake ... the crescent moon and clouds casting pale shadowy light across the grounds, Bav concentrated, mumbled an incantation and ... gave the impression music was playing again.
She then, took Mias hands in hers, drawing the elven sorceress close, placing the delicate hands on the witch's hips, her hands she placed on Mia's.
Bav leaned close, touching her forhead to Mialee's, looking into her eyes , started swaying to the faint impression of the music playing, a dance ... slow close, intimate.

Bav then, began to sing to her again, to hopefully lift Mia's spirits.*

Without you, there's no change
My nights and days are gray
If I reached out and touched the rain
It wouldn't feel the same-

Without you, I'd be lost
I'd slip down from the top
I'd slide down so low
Girl, you'd never, never know-

Without you, without you
A sailor lost at sea
Without you, woman
The world comes down on me
-
Without you in my life
I'd slowly wilt and die
But with you by my side
You're the reason I'm alive
But with you in my life
You're the reason I'm alive-

But without you, without you .... ;

Without you, there's no change
My nights and days are gray
If I reached out and touched the rain
It wouldn't feel the same

Without you, without you
I'm a sailor lost at sea
Without you, woman
The world comes down on me
-
Without you in my life
I'd slowly wilt and die
But with you by my side
You're the reason I'm alive...

But with you in my life
You're the reason I'm alive

But without you, without you...
*pauses*

I could face a mountain
But I could never climb alone-

I could start another day
But how many, I don't know-

You're the reason, the sun shines down!
And the nights, they don't grow cold!

Only you that I'll hold when I'm young
Only you, as we grow old...

Without you in my life
I'd slowly wilt and die
But with you by my side
You're the reason I'm alive

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Post  BenevolentDevil Mon Oct 15, 2018 11:29 pm


Hrmmm ...

Another doozy of a full moon,  and ... now more.  
I don't know when our pack is going to catch a break. since I came along, chaos, disorder ... normally these things don't bother me, but we have little ones at stake.  Innocents.  I love them already, even though I hadn't met them.  

Tonight, was another Mialee and Bav night, Hel going off to slumber early.  Guess he was tuckered from the fighting.  
By the Nine, i was off inside, getting plastered ...dealing with my rebellious body and being in heat, drinking it to numbness ...  I was barely conscious at one point, and hearing odd muffled sounds, curious and worried Mia had something wrong, I stepped outside.
Strange water spirits had attacked from our lake.  

Mia said they came via portal , but we couldn't locate a source specifically to do anything about it.  

My reaction was shock ... then, all of a sudden one of the spirits was behind me, I instinctively turned and fanned fire at the creature, but it whalloped me hard, I got knocked out.  I came to, Hel was bandaging me, and Mia ... , not sure what all happened.
Nothing else came after this, we waited like dummies at the water ... well, I wanted to go inside, but needed to stay and protect my green eyed angel.
Luckily, the babies weren't hurt , though Mia and I were very bruised and had minor wounds.  Good thing we heal up fast.

Anyways, ... We go in, Hel and Mia spend some alone time, while I zone out and see a horrid vision.   I don't want to deal with this right now, but I don't want to forget , so writing it now just for that reason.  
I seen my own funeral.  I suppose, that means I never find or complete making potions of longevity after-all.  My Mia, is going to watch me turn into an old hag, and pass away ... and that breaks my heart , knowing for sure it's coming someday. , But can't deal with that right now, too much else at stake.  

So the evening, Mia and I sat, massaging each other, snacking on meats Hel left simmering on the spit.  A lovely evening, we talked a lot.  I was trying not to be overly aggressive in sexual means, I was .. still in heat , and I get a bit rough in that stage.  Last time I woke Mia up and ... I let her have it aggressively all night. A bit too aggressive, though she returned it in equal fervor...
 So, I tried staying calm, and not rush .. and focus more on pleasing her.  Sweet love making, and she finally passed out on me, snoozing smiling, holding her belly.  

I was hot , but somewhere in there my heat ..subsided, finally! Oh It's so horrid!  The fire was warm, and I was sweaty from being with Mia in such a way.

So, I went out to bathe ...

I got about, fifteen feet or so from where the water edge normally is, and I plopped ankle deep into a swollen creek, and noticed flooded banks on the lake.  
It had rained earlier, so I didn't think much of it ..at first.  

So there I was, stark naked, washing my hair ... and some .. things came out of the water at me.  Mia called them Mephits , I called upon my spell to slam multi missiles into the beast, they went down, but something far larger was stirring in the water.  The water got deeper too, very fast.
Nothing else attacked me ... I grabbed my clothes, and ran back in ... looking out the window, I see the danger.
 We are flooding, and there are more water spirits.  

If we stay here, we are going to drown!   Mia's pups will be drowned, or if not ... what ever or who ever is sending these creatures, would smite them, easier than they felled me earlier.   If such can whollop me , just imagine what they'd do to our babies!
We have to ... move.  No doubt in my mind of it.
At least, until ... what ever this is is settled ... I don't know the details, only ... bits of scrap ,revolving around something Mia and Hel called a Rakacoon??? Ruckushuru? .. some funny name of something I called a whatchamacallit ...

Our pack is in trouble.  I can't sit idle and let our pups, or my loves be hurt.  Tomorrow, Hel and I will deal with any immediate spirits, and we three need to sit down, make a plan to save our pack.  Find safe places, to go.

It is not safe here, for Mia to birth pups, anymore.  
Like regular wolves, we should have several locations spread out, game does get scarce , and ... when things like this happen, we need places to go.
We got .. overly comfortable being stable, it's about to ... drown us , literally.  

I don't know these lands or countries well ... I think my sisters and I are even technically from another place or plane entirely.  The Mist surrounding our birth place, are strange and mysterious.
Hopefully , my two loves .. will know better places, better sanctuaries ... , and put us as far away from this area, as we can safely be.

My babies need me ... and I need my Alphas.
This is so serious , I'm so scared right now!
With this being now close to birthing, ... we are out of time, and need options!


* In the morning, a pacing Bav hands Mia the open journal entry, chewing on her thumbnaill, and watching out the window constantly*
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Post  BenevolentDevil Tue Oct 16, 2018 8:24 pm

Both my loves are exhausted ... I am sitting in a strange place, looking at a non talkative bushy tailed priestess. Totally not my type ... that hair, ... I think I threw up in my mouth a bit, same style my sister Sariah wears ... bleh!
She's pleasant enough though, and smells of .. us , and clovers.

Underground sanctuary. I miss our house already.
I'm looking around here, and .. I just don't see this being any better to bring pups in to the world. It's not thier home, and.. it' s not ours either.

But, I do admit ... someone better be pretty powerful to get passed the guardian and keeper of the place. I didn't get the pas phrase from the priestess here, and oh boy! More magic power than Etri ... scary!

This is ... an adjustment for sure. I don't see anywhere in here, we are going to truly be comfortable. We're safe for now I guess.
I don't even know, where I am really ... we took the spirit walk of the spirit portals, one can get to via the rod of Gathome.

I miss my creek, I miss our fire .. our cozy place. Though, I am glad my loves are safe, and we are together. Glad the pups were safe too.

Fate it seems, turned a ugly card over for us.

I tried telling my dears, of the danger, but they insisted on staying until attacked again. i noticed water seeping in the house, and well ... of course , more water spirits.
Hel wanted to jump into the lake, ... which Mia said was one big portal. I think he thought, that meant a two way thing ... more than likely not, or if it was .. it's direct conduit to the water plane. I once seen, a Count where I am from, Lord Strahd open such a portal, flooded a entire village of people that were secretly inspiring a rebellion against him. About the same thing here, lots of water, flooding, and .. of course spirits of the realm. Every man, woman, child drowned. Innocent, or not.

I hope the grounds here, ward off any scrying or location detection. It was difficult enough, to simply know a place safe.
the Gods ... , I think these beings have far too much influence ... a wandering priest , dropped clues at what to do.

If i hadn't hopped up ,and put on my innocent girl routine, I don't really know if we'd have gotten that far. A .. Traveller one at that.
Since I am ... an occultist by nature , these ... deities seem strange. I often wonder what it'd be like to be one, and ... surely I simply wouldn't care about meddling in the lives of mortals ... but that's me.

I suppose , they are ... mostly somewhat better than the creatures of the Far Realms, I've let possess my body before.
Daggoth, especially is a horrid, horrid thing...

Anyways ... I'm glad we are safe, but I hate this too. Hel seems extra disheartened, ... I know he' s angry, and .. is blaming himself I think.
It's not his fault ...
But he can't go and just leave his pack now , to try and be the savior.

This is my doing. I pushed the pair to couple, and have babies. If I hadn't came along, they could have just went on, and solved this issue at it' s source, and not wait for thier home to be invaded.

I feel so bad, and crummy about it right now, I .. don't even feel like having sex ... so you know it's bad!!!

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Post  BenevolentDevil Tue Oct 16, 2018 11:23 pm

Ok, so I'm sitting out here ... I made a fire.
Those stupid vines are everywhere around this place. I'm ... bored.
Mia is resting, Hel's .. kinda in and out of it moody i think ... I don't blame him.

I can't say I like the ... shop owner much, his place reeks of cat pee ...
The priestess only wants to chat , if you need something from the temple ... she didn't even crack a smile, or roll her eyes at my " I like it doggy style too" joke ...

I don't know why .. but i thought about that girl ... Rannie. I kind of wanted Mia and Hel to check her out. I feel bad for the girl. I hope she's coping and doing alright.
So sad a tale... her parents selling her into slavery , she broke free .. only looking for the very things I found.
There's no way I know of she could come here, even by accident ... mrs bushy tail over there, would smite her , and if not she then the werecat down below definitely would ...
Being rather stuck here ourselves, not much of a chance we can watch and do an impromptu meet up ...
And there's always the danger , this might be the only place ... Hel and Mia can hide from what ever it is doing this to our house and home.

I'm worried, I don't get targeted when I need to go and nab us some food and water ... I can't see any reason why, I'd be ... thrown into the mix up, not being known or directly involved with that rakakakakaka thing in the first place, but one never really knows.
Mia i'm definately not leaving her side, unless I have too, and it's not a good idea for her to leave at this point, unless it's a dire must!
I hope Hel doesn't slip off , but he's pretty upset. I can tell. This weighs heavy on his heart.

I hope he knows, his gals love him ... and we don't blame him. sometimes, being a hero ... comes with baggage attached, thats just how it goes.
I can see the future ... but I didn't see any of this.
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Post  BenevolentDevil Wed Oct 17, 2018 11:16 pm

It was a decent day , considering our plight.
The three of us, got to spend some time together.  

I woke up to find Hel not nearby, I went and smelled him out.  He was all big and fluffy, he really has some gorgeous fur ... , it took me a while to calm him down.  
I understood his anger, and frustration. Wasn't anything a little booty and hard romping couldn't cure though.  Which was ..great ,by the way ... I think I needed that too!

Mia joined us outside shortly after.

We then discussed, possible connections and theories on what to do about all this.  we may need help, outside help.  

Late in the evening, and I hope Mia doesn't skin us for this ... , Hel and I .. went out to find potential allies.  We need information and strong of arms, strong of heart folks to aid us in this... I don't even know what it is. A Quest?
Seems we are dealing with demons, and powerful ones.  clues there, but they were missed ... I think we should, maybe somehow bind the one demon that Mia has spirited away, question it at least. Find out the vital missing elements we don't know.
Seems there was a priest, involved and Hel's voice may have been a deity of some sort.

From there , it's still up in the air on what to do.  

However, we found Rannie ... whom is willing to help us.  Hel met her, and I think there was a good impression left there on both sides. She's a warrior , and can freely move about where we can't, hopefully dig up more information for us, somehow. She had decent ideas where to start looking.
I set up to meet her secretly , often to see what she digs up.  I wish she could meet my Mia, I think after Mia warmed up to her, they'd get along just fine.
I lingered behind, while Hel went back to check on Mia and go rest.   I talked to Rannie more, shared some of my more ... illicit and horrendous deeds of my past.  She ... didn't judge me, actually offered sympathy and consolidation.  
I think , she's going to make a good friend , and ally.  

I'm tired now , so going to go curl up with my two loves, and hopefully can finally sleep.  Catching up to me the last few days events, and not truly resting.
 
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Post  BenevolentDevil Thu Oct 18, 2018 10:43 pm

* The blonde Witch, returned via spirit walking to the temple.  Dryads were in throes of thier religious holiday, Bav scratched her fluffy white head, laid her ears back, quietly murmuring an incantation, she rendered herself invisible and slipped down into the caves.  
she found Hel and Mia , already sleeping, Hel a big fluffy like herself, and Mia resting on him.  Bav grinned a wolfish grin, and settleddown, leaning against Hel's rhythmic breathing.
She fought off sleep, knowing day break was arriving soon. *


hrmm ... so today. Seemed like a long day.  
Most of it, just felt like ... waiting around.  Hel and I spent the morning, playing, cuddling, talking ... i did some other things I normally do when bored.

Somewhere in there , between teasing and being homesick ... he started teaching me some elven.  I don't know much, but ... I like what I have learned so far.  I know I don't have the proper dialect down, Hel said I have an accent ... anyways, at least now I can tell Mia how I feel, in her own language.  
Speak in her language, and .. show her with my body, in mine.

Mia woke up and the three of us wound up cuddling together, it's nice. Very special moment, despite our situation and surroundings.  
This .. what ever it is, has drawn us closer than ever before.

Rannie was spotted by Kaw, and ... I begged for us to go out and see her. Last time we can for a while, and Mia was able to portal and go meet her.
I am positive, it went very well.  
We didn't get to fully explore what was needed there. Again, just bad timing ... it's either running against us, time that is, or .. dragging by of late.

Mia is now about due. A matter of ..hours away before it starts.  I'm excited, and nervous.  I've never midwifed before, and I almost can't bear it in my heart knowing my love is going to have labor pains.  But I finally want to see and hold the pups, seems like it took forever to get here!
I hope they know my voice, I often talk to Mia's tummy , hoping they can hear me. I sing to them too ...
My little fur balls are about to be here!!!!  Finally!!!!

Mia was able to return on her own , sent me a sending message to let me know such.  She allowed me to stay a tad bit longer, to chat with our new friend Rannie.

Rannie is so sweet, you'd never know she had pretty much been shoved off and.. tortured. Enslaved and forced to do unspeakable things.
She didn't let such, darken her heart though.  She's physically strong, for a woman , and far tougher than I was in other ways.  
I had allowed my life, to shape me into a horrid person. I felt trapped in it.  
Until Mia of course.  
Rannie .. didn't. She did what she HAD to do, to survive , but didn't ... succumb like I did.  

Come to find out too ... because I asked ... she's pure. Untouched.  Virgin.  Amazing considering she's not bad looking and was a slave really.  
She's also , uncertain on her .. orientation.   I think she finds my demeanor fun and somewhat exciting , ... a slight spark of possible attraction.  I sorta tend to bring that out in people though.  They see me as fun, and free to ... do whatever.  It pulls at something inside themselves, especially if they are lacking such.  
Still, I wanted to get a sense of what made her happy ... , I know a guy that's sweet on her.  I think she likes that he is.
I don't know what to say about that much , it's hard to tell someone ... certain paths in the future, might not be able to be followed by him. Or, at the very least, another long process of our pack, watching, looking, learning ... of course.
Not without giving away things prematurely anyways.

I asked if , she was with him , and no she isn't.  She didn't know if she wanted to be or not.  
It took a bit for me to find myself too, so I understand.  

I let her Kiss me.  I didn't do it for me ... can't say I minded the excuse of it, satisfy a small curiousity of my own, but ... for her.  To see how it made her feel.  She told me shortly before, she hadn't ever been with anyone, and never encountered a woman in such ways striking her to ... want to know.
 It was .. sweet.  soft, warm ... I can imagine... someone, melting into such a kiss.  

Not entirely certain, how it made her feel.  I simply told her, to think on it, remember how it effected her.   It's up to she to decide if it's , what she likes and desires, or not.  
We got a tad closer, shes a good friend already.  She started a tickle fight, Mia does this to me as well ... and tickling me gets me hot and bothered.  While, it was a few moments of fun I lost myself in,  I had to ask for it to stop.  
First of all ... my heart is with my loves, I dare not tread on that sacredness at all.  

Secondly ... and equally important, the girl could have raised my arousal to the point, my body starts overriding my good judgement... I know me, I would have been lustful, and .. taken advantage of the girl.  And, I didn't want this.   Not when , she isn't even certain of .. what likes or doesn't.  
I simply like her as a person, and I care.  I care enough, to let her find her heart, without trying to influence.  

It's hard holding things back from her though, not the sexual stuff... but of our pack.  
It's up to Mia and hel on such.  

I know the girl doesn't quite have a name for what shes desiring, but I know she wants to be like us.  I know from previous minor conversation, she's enamored with the lore that surround our kind.  
I even read this in her tarrort cards, where I acted ignorant and asked her to tell me what they meant.  I knew flat out though, no guessing involved.

I hope, soon to have another pack sister.
Our family is getting larger anyways, ready or not.



*Bav then, now she was in human form put her book away, and set two large balls of string near by where the trio stored thier posessions.  She then, lay down, speaking to mia's belly a few minutes, then strteched out snuggling into thier warmth, and as she dozed off, said softly:
"E Ceya 'ean. E Ceya 'ean. " *
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Post  BenevolentDevil Fri Oct 19, 2018 8:33 am

*Bav wakes  up, noticing Mia is sweating and breathing hard. She almost panicked , but shook her hands and excitedly jumped up, not bothering to even fix her hair.  
 She knew this would be when Mia had to find a spot and change.  It was time.  

The witch squealed in glee... and quickly dug out towels and blankets, returning to Mia to help her, go where the Elven sorceress desired, to finally have her pups.*

It's here!
They're coming! They're coming! They're coming! They're coming! They're coming! They're coming! They're coming! They're coming!

I COULD JUST DIE!!!!!!!!!!

Gotta go.
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Post  BenevolentDevil Sat Oct 20, 2018 1:21 am

Well...
I suppose the gods have seen fit to murder me with waiting, ... more!

While I don't think, anything is wrong, ... but seems Mia's time of labor is very lengthy.  Maybe i got all excited, knowing it SHOULD'VE been time ... and she was just beginning the stages.  I hope it's not false labor , or ... anything amiss.
I'm tired now ... and my excitement has grown into concern.  
I'm enjoying getting to spend quality time with my Vehvaeanm green eyed angel ... and seemingly, even in her state she teases my body, driving me to the point of unbridled passion , desire runs so deep ... , probably to keep me from worrying, and curbing my natural inability to be ... patient.  

Patience, Helthan said .. is a virtue.  
Heh, I hadn't been VIRTUOUS, in a very long time now!  

so ... aggravated, all this waiting!  
Wait to possibly make Rannie a pack sister.  
Wait to tell her and give her a proper choice.
Wait on the pups.
Wait more on the pups.
Wait , some more on the Pups, even though you think you got the due date right ...
Wait to solve our plight.  
Wait to go home ...
 
IF we ever get to go home!  

I even .. prayed earlier ... guess I kinda got my answer by ... more waiting.

Maybe , maybe in the morning ... we'll finally get some little fuzzballs ... I'm starting to wonder though.

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Post  BenevolentDevil Sat Oct 20, 2018 4:00 pm

*Bav opens her book, thinks long and hard. Taps the quill on the page for a long while*

Well, ...
Nothings changed.
Don't got anything I need to write about.

i'm bored.
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Post  BenevolentDevil Sat Oct 20, 2018 11:23 pm

well,  Mia and I  have gotten a lot of bonding time, cuddle time, and ... play in of late.  

I'm guessing, things are alright ... i'm a tad tired of the false labor, the ... waiting for a time, and it still doesn't seem close.  
Finding it difficult to be enthusiastic. Jaded myself to being excited , and my heart drop to the bottom, when it just want time ... again.

Hel's been going caving, occupying his time ... he licked a vampire.  
gross ...

Even Sugar is ready , overly ready.  I think if I hadn't been there to spoil her , she would be thoroughly miserable, instead of jusr mostly miserable.

We don't have much else to discuss.  No new news from Rannie yet.
Sitting waiting , hands are tied.

We've basically been collared and chained by fate at this point.  
All we can do is tell each other, it will come and someday we might can go home, back to our lives, and be happy.  

We aren't unhappy , not as a family. Not together. We've gotten closer because of this plight.
but,returning to some semblance of normality ... our way.  Able to run and hunt free again , wash my hair when I want to , sleep by our fire and get spoiled on Mia's home cooking.

My cards are blank. I've no visions since we've left home.
I'm flying blind ... and don't like it.
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Post  BenevolentDevil Sun Oct 21, 2018 1:58 pm

*The lycan blonde , got very bored ... very quickly.  She always had this tenancy, but being a bit locked to hiding out in or near the temple just irritated this itch even more.   A bit too chaotic and free spirited at heart , combined with youthful energy hard to contain , all the waiting was weighing her down.  

She loved on Mia, exhausting her again. And again.
After this, she used a special rod, spirit walked between worlds, using spirit portals to go near to places she had in mind.  Even though she had already done so earlier, Bav went and hunted again, gathering raw meat for cooking later.  She refilled water at a known clean water source.  Mia needed all the nourishment she could get , was eating for several still.  Bav had even taking to rationing her portions , just so her green eyed angel had more than enough.

She also quickly popped in and out of a place, to gather medical supplies. Something the trio needed , but was a gamble on taking risk to go do.

The Witch returned, to find Mia sleeping.  Helthan might be down in the caves, exploring ... so she did what she does, ... about six or seventeen times in a row.  

Still bored , and feeling sated at the moment, she crept on over to the temple.  

Looking around, noting bushy-tail was occupied and far enough away, no one else around in sight or smelling distance ... Bav knelt before the altar , and prayed. *

"Nagealai ...
Hi, it's umm ... Bav.
I really don't know or understand how all this works. Honestly, I've never been much of a person of faith. But I see my love adores you, even seeing your spirit with her.
I ... I just wanted to beg you , help us.  Oh, please help us.
Give us the babies please!  
Help us go home?  Your place is ... nice enough of course, but we rather like our house. It' s the place we had picked out for the pups to be born and raised.  It's alright if they are born here, safe and in your temple to be blessed, I suppose. But, can you do something to maybe hurry it up?

Please, oh please, oh , please!

and if ... you are feeling generous of course, ... maybe let me know you actually hear me?  Kinda feel akward all these one sided conversations....

Alright, thats all I got.  

No wait! Umm, if you would help Rannie to, watch over here while , we cannot.  

I think thats all now.  

No, wait again!  Can you maybe make the deer bigger, so I don't have to take so many to feed our family? Kind of scrawny this year.  

Alright, thats all now.  

I don't know what to say to end these things, I forgot what Mia said.  
Sorry.

Love you? "
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Post  BenevolentDevil Mon Oct 22, 2018 12:52 am

Days have passed by, and still my Sugar is holding onto pups.
I'm doing my best, to alleviate her discomfort. I know she's over ready and wants to get it over with. Luckily, she still has an appetite for me. Hel's made himself scarce of late, so it's just been my snuggle-fluffy and I mostly. I know he's got a lot to process and deal with.
Gotten a tad bit creative with lovemaking of late. Very interesting and exhilarating.!
While shes still so beautiful ,I don't even know how to say in words , the fact she's about due does make me have to take care , and be more creative.

I love spoiling her though. Makes me happy , and full of bliss pleasing her. Especially if it alleviates any discomfort, and worry .. even for a short while.
It's the only real thing i'm any good at, I don't know any other way, or what else to do.

I slept snuggled up to her for a while, woke up and slipped off again.
Not sure why, I went poking around for supplies knowing full well we have enough currently.
I dropped into the Inn , to pilfer some hot meat off the spit, got hungry. I've not been eating much back at the temple. Mostly because I'm making sure Mia has plenty, more than plenty.

A part though , I though I need to drop a few pounds, keep my figure nice. Sitting idle so much, I fear my butt getting too big!

While there Rannie came up on me. Caught me with a strip of meat i was chomping on, wolfing down.
A pleasant surprise.
As always, she was playful ... lively so. She's nice , and sweet.
I chatted with her, telling her some things about me, a few funny things I heard from Hel and Mia talking.
I did so, so Rannie would start to get a sense of who we are, what we are like.
I'm not complicated in such a way, one can see readily most of me with little effort. But she doesn't really know .. Us, as a family. Only meeting short while with my loves.

I somewhat discovered she's possibly a tad jealous of me having to be away. This concept is difficult for me, because I have no capability to be jealous at all. she's not jealous of Mia , I don't think ... not the vibe I got there. More like ... jealous of lost time.
I thought it was sweet, an dit broke my heart at the same time. I felt so sad , I can't be in two places at once. I think Rannie misunderstood my expression over this discovery I had inwardly. I didn't get much of a chance , to explain , it wasn't her ...
Hopefully, I can remedy this.

I do think, I confuse her a bit.
She knows I'm holding back .. I can tell. She plays it off I noticed , but my sense of social interaction, and intuition kick in , and I seen a couple times, how she answers very well, but also doesn't exactly express how she feels about things. It' s a very guarded response, and possibly even developed from her time surviving in the slave pits.
Part of it, might also be ... I break her heart by having to be elsewhere mostly. I know she doesn't understand, and it's hard to ... make her, without telling her everything. I think somewhere in her subconsciousness, she's tuned in on it at least, meaning she's been hurt by such, but not willing to let on she has. Again, with out the truth ... I don't know how to put that trust there back, and take away that pain.

I also find myself in a bit of a conundrum with her , in other ways.
I like her, a lot. I adore her to be honest. In many ways it is so. She's a good friend. She likes attention , likes to talk, her perceptions of me are sweet, kind, and heartfelt. She appeals to my vanity. She's also fun, and young like me ... so energetic.

Hard part is, I'm attracted to her in those ways as a love of friendship. But, I am also attracted to her physically in the other ways.
I have the capacity in me to love more than one person in the ways of real love.
I'm not there with her, specifically. While I love her , it's not the same level of say Mia or Hel have my entire heart.
I haven't spent that much time with Rannie to develop that, if such even warrants developing I don't know. That future is as blank to me as my cards are currently.
I do know though, keeping what I must secretive .. not being honest , means those possibilities can't be explored. How could it .. if trust isn't given completely by both parties involved?
I don't know in my mind or heart, if I should explore there.
My body on the other hand ... , ok she's got a hot body. I have a thing for red hair. I literally stopped my hands several times, from acting on thier own accord.
Reminding myself, she's innocent.
Even harder when she tickles me , that gets me ramped up!
Her touch and manners is such, it appeals to what makes my body respond with desire. She doesn't know this , I think, never truly experiencing physical pleasure herself ..., but it's difficult to resist, and not break her spirit or playfulness , for me attempting to do right by her. I know she can't possibly understand!
I don't wish to break her spirit, any more than I wish to break her kind heart.
At the same time ... I don't wish for my lustful body to get to the point, I act and .. hurt everyone, and myself because of it in the long run.

I don't want to slam that door shut and walk away. while i'm trying to keep the door halfway shut, manageable with what comes and goes through it, I find it opens on it's own , or is pushed open .. and I have to constantly tug and war with the door, to stay right where I need it to.

Plus, it's not like I want or need to cheat either.
I love Hel and Mia. Completely. Utterly I do.

Helthan thinks I'm insatiable ... , and because it's fun, i'm going to let him keep thinking that!
But they both satisfy me. Completely. Physically and emotionally. I am whole with them.

Another thrown into the mix, ... not sure on.
I seen the playful flash in Mia's eleven green eyes, the glimpse of fantasizing when she met Rannie and talked to her. I know My Sugar enough, it crossed her mind. I don't think Hel picked up on it, but of course I did.
Now, I can't say there isn't the possibility such action wouldn't hurt Mia's feelings ... some things I can't read in those gorgeous eyes, but my intuition tells me, it wouldn't mostly ... as long as I never stopped , and never withheld my love from her.
Hel on the other hand , I don't think would be quite as accepting ,and I am fairly sure it hurt him.

I am theirs, and they are mine.
And I don't have any wish in me, to gamble on anything like this ... hurting them, causing strain in our relationship. even if such chance is slim, it's still a chance.

So, it's ... sometimes a tad complicated, dealing with Rannie on my end.
She hasn't picked up, i hide this behind smiles, and distracting gestures. She doesn't notice my internal conflict.
Like I said, I am a master of social interaction ... the only two people I can't hide anything from, is Hel and Mia. I know they love me , because they see right through me.

I like spending time with Rannie though, and I do want her to be my pack sister.

I wish my cards and sight weren't being blocked, I'd really like to glimpse ahead, and find out what I should do and say!

But at least ..., I got to get out a while, and have something else to think about, even if breifly. Nice change of pace.




-P.S. Werecats do not find balls of string, laced with catnip ,amusing.
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Post  BenevolentDevil Mon Oct 22, 2018 10:42 pm

*Bav retrieves her book from Mia's things*

It was worth the wait.
I Have babies!!!!!! Four of them! I'l document thier names later, too excited right now.

Everything was, slow .. boring, then .. boom got wild and crazy!

so, I discussed Rannie with my loves, and Mia came up with testing to see how she reacts to us. We set a plan in motion, and .. well it worked, sort of.
Wild magic and strange happenings ... anyways, even with the spell Mia taught me, the weave fluxuations still happened. Two of my spells went awry, but did not really do any harm ... however, I was turned into a ... cat like short creature ... it was awful, well cute but .. eww cats? Rannie got chained to the ground by an unbreakable chain, Hel got turned to stone for a short while.

That was all goblin magic that did that.

Still, the test was done. The only thing was Hel mentioned, he didn't know if Rannie wanted our gifts for combat prowess, or if that even reflected on the subject.
When I asked about it, she got defensive, and took it entirely the wrong way. Pressured for time, I didn't explain it well.
I was trying to let her know, it was alright.

I told her. And then asked her to come with me, to meet my family. Pups had been born, and ... I wanted to see, but needed to hunt so Mia had meat too. Good chance to show Rannie , the beastly side of our gift.
Me ,my white fur, covered in gore and blood , after I slaughtered a pack of deer to gather meat for my precious loves.
Hel gave me permission to show.

We came, I quickly went to see the pups! Couldn't stand it any longer. Awwww so cute, so small and furry. I know it will be a few weeks until they really get to where they will interact with me, but I simply am amazed and adore them so much.
We are in a small location, Rannie should be safe in, if staying close to us.

I left her with Hel, not really meaning too, and told Mia of her arrival. When I came back, I didn't catch all the conversation , but .. made me uncertain as to what transpired. I'll find out later though.
Anyways, she came and seen our family. The real part of us. Who we are, and thats a family of love , our pack.

and now she knows all, and .. I feel better knowing now, she can make a real decision on , if she wants such a gift or not.

And, don't have to keep any more secrets. so much better!

Mia looks exhausted, but happy. I think I seen relief in her eyes too.

Now, from here ... seeing if I'm going to get a new pack sister, ensuring the babies are well , ...and hopefully finally on the path to go home.


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Post  BenevolentDevil Tue Oct 23, 2018 9:46 pm


I spent the morning watching Mia and her pups nurse.  So cute, so adorable.  
Their little whimpers melt my heart.

Cerolon.  I can tell he's going to be the adventurous one ... definitely takes after his dad, seems curious.

Herdan. Somewhat tries to hog the milk.  It's a bit funny.  He'll push the others off, so He gets his choice.

Samira. so sweet, very fluffy too ... going to have her mothers sexiness , and gorgeous lush fur.

Aria. She also displays a bit of an adventurous spirit, when not nursing, she's checking out her surroundings, sleeping less than the others.

 I fell asleep , being at peace near Mia ... something about the calmness of a mother I suppose.  
I woke up, went and made sure there was plenty of water and food , and came back to find Hel had arrived from a trip down below again.  

We sat, talked, cuddled ... I got on him and pleasured him. Then more cuddling.  
Rannie finally woke up, Kaw alerting me so ... she stayed with us, over in the corner ... I went to her, knowing we needed to keep her safe.  

Mia was still resting, who can blame her? She suffered long, and the birth took it's toll after the excitement wore off I suppose.
Instead of sitting around the temple, I suggested we go somewhere, anywhere to relive boredom of just sitting around waiting.  

So we went to Tivook, to the inn ... to sit around some more.  A bit better, at least there's food and drink.  We toasted the pups arrival with a chilled ale.

We talked about things, and then the conversation turned more private matters.  I suggested we go outside, but Hel mentioned renting a room.
Normally , this would have intrigued me ... but, in this case it did not.  

Seems Rannie had a room already, which furthered my discomfort.  
While I know it was important to chat , and privately ... I felt really awkward.   I was in a small room, in close proximity to a woman I have been trying my best to keep my paws off of.  Not an easy thing.  
I tried distracting myself by examining the sparse and un-interesting book son a shelf in the room.  Rannie gave me a book, and I tried sitting, scanning it's pages, to keep something between us physically, and me a tad out of reach.  

While conversing , I noticed Hel had her attentions.  Her looks obvious.  
Not entirely certain if that's what she truly wanted, or was trying to gauge how I reacted.  Could have been both.
However, if the latter is the case , I'm afraid I don't honestly have a reaction.  I've tried to tell her and Hel, I have no capability to be jealous.  It's not in me at all, to feel or have anything to do with it.  
This part of me ,  I know confuses others , for they seem to feel this .. emotion?  If it' san emotion that is, not really sure.  

I view jealousy as a mere subject. I know it exist, because it's broken apart families, started wars , caused people to do horrid things in it' s name.
I don't however, feel it at all.  So, others don't understand me.
 I really don't care if Hel dips his wick, where ever he pleases.  I'm more one to generally encourage more physical activity.  I know he loves me, he knows Mia and I love him.  This will never change.  

I did however, lie to her .. for a while.  So , maybe I deserve a bit of her, possibly trying to get under my skin a bit.  
Not quite very sisterly, but seeing how I have had to keep to myself , and keep secrets ... I can't find fault in her really.  I hurt her , so she has pain.  
If she feels the need to punish me for such, I simply accept it with a smile, and bear it.

Maybe, in some odd way, my feelings are a tad hurt, is all. But I'll never tell her such, at any rate.

Hel settled down in the bed, looking tired.  
I didn't want to stay though.  I didn't really wish to be confined in close proximity , knowing Hel drives my body insane anyways, and someone whom I am attracted to physically in the same place, not a good combination ... not as far as my heart goes.
I slipped off, while they were talking.  Discussing her desire for gaining our gifts.

I used my rod, and spirit walked back to Mia, and the pups.  

I lay down with her, behind, reaching over to softly pet my little ones, and snuggle up to my lovely white angel.
I slept long, ... but woke up. Dreamed of my own mother again.  
Hel wasn't around, he must have stayed.

Woke up, to write this.
I can't sleep now.

I want to go home.
 
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Post  BenevolentDevil Wed Oct 24, 2018 7:41 pm

* The blonde witch, went again out to hunt for meat.  She tallied a bit longer on her return, and slipped by the river close to Tivook's crossroads.  Knowing full well, the danger of water spirits could possibly strike anywhere.  
She almost didn't care anymore.  

Something caught her attention near the bank, stuck in the moss and mud. She reached down, grabbing it, wiping the muck then flicked it in the water.  

It was the porcelain mask she had worn before, casting it into the river after meeting Mia that fateful night.  She turned it over and over in her hands, staring at it for a long time. *


I really don't have much to say.

What can anyone expect, I go hunt, I fill water, I come back to Mia, pet her, watch and pet the pups ... day in and day out.  
Very little to break up the monotony of routine of late.

And thats how it is.  

I think this is the last entry I will write here, close this book.  

Perhaps, when things change , or some sort of break through happens ... I'll start another book.  
I've reached the last clean page in this one.  
BenevolentDevil
BenevolentDevil
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Number of posts : 285
Registration date : 2014-12-17

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Character Name: Bavmorda
Race: Human
Overall Level: 11

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