Sometimes D&D Rules Can Be Funny

How to make a peasant rail gun.

1. Hire a ton of peasants; let's just say that it is two thousand two hundred and eighty. Line them up in single file; this will form a chain of peasants two miles long. It'd be four miles back in MY day (witness me hiking up my 2nd Edition suspenders).

2. Buy a ladder. Just buy a standard, ten-foot ladder. Disassemble the ladder into a bunch of rungs and a pair of mighty ten-foot wooden poles. Hand a pole to the peasant at the back of line.

3. First round of combat. Peasant at the front of line readies an action to throw the pole at the enemy. Every peasant behind him readies an action to hand the pole to the peasant in front of him.

4. Next round: peasants fire off their readied actions, passing the pole two miles down the line and hurling it in six seconds or less. Pole accelerates to the speed of 1200 miles per hour, or a little less than Mach 2 at sea level.

5. Peasant Railgun can be reloaded and fired in less than 12 seconds.


I did not write this, I'm just sharing it and a laugh. OMG such a laugh.

Now I know how to build my doom weapon for world domination. Just gotta save all my money for domination spell wands to make sure those peasants (aka weapon parts) do not malfunction, and to maximize it's potential!